| lily's profileEnsurePhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
Ensureneo December 08 "Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”LYRICS FOR Help, I have done it again Be my friend Ouch I have lost myself again September 08 Quotation for Happiness<> Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.
August 27 ZT's ZT 转一个帖, 有关流年，有关长辈。
当我老了（ZT） 当我老了，不再是原来的我。 请理解我，对我有一点耐心。 当我把菜汤洒到自己的衣服上时，当我忘记怎样繫鞋带时， 请想一想当初我是如何手把手地教你。 当我一遍又一遍地重复你早已听腻的话语，请耐心地听我说，不要打断我。 你小的时候，我不得不重复那个讲过千百遍的故事，直到你进入梦乡。 当我需要你帮我洗澡时，请不要责备我。 还记得小时候我千方百计哄你洗澡的情形吗？ 当我对新科技和新事物不知所措时，请不要嘲笑我。 想一想当初我怎样耐心地回答你的每一个「為什麼」。 当我由於双腿疲劳而无法行走时，请伸出你年轻有力的手搀扶我。 就像你小时候学习走路时，我扶你那样。 当我忽然忘记我们谈话的主题，请给我一些时间让我回想。 其实对我来说，谈论什麼并不重要，只要你能在一旁听我说，我就很满足。 当你看著老去的我，请不要悲伤。 理解我，支持我，就像你刚才开始学习如何生活时我对你那样。 当初我引导你走上人生路，如今请陪伴我走完最后的路。 给我你的爱和耐心，我会抱以感激的微笑，这微笑中凝结著我对你无限的爱。 October 21 Adapted from American BeautyLESTER: I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... ...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... , you will some day.
September 10 那刻的街道 那刻的阳光上个星期五中午出去吃饭，走在街道上，当时的阳光和街道让我突然有种走在南京街头的幻觉，觉得熟悉而亲切。乡愁是一种很玄妙的东西--她在你生命的印记中不经意中撒下些种子，悄悄地发芽成长，你并不察觉。直到有些场景促发感觉，你才惊鸿一瞥，而后不知所措。有时候又并不知道所作的选择是不是对的，只不过惯性的向前，做自己以为是对的事，或别人以为是对的事，走以为值得的路，也或者根本都不去细想这些那般。但其实并不真清楚对错，更无法预见回头看看时是否会后悔。生命太懵懂，不过会有明白的一刻，只希望不要太迟。 August 07 后知后觉不知不觉，你已经离开我，
。。。。。。
后知后觉，又过了一个秋。
上班后时间过的很快。这剩下的几十年是不是还不及咀嚼滋味，就走了。
不知不觉。。。
后知后觉。。。
其实还是有点茫然的。我只是一滴水珠， 在波浪中浮沉， 是否也在前进。
May 23 就要结束学生生涯，开始一种新的生活方式了。不知道会怎样。时间一晃就消逝不见，想这人生大概也就这样很快很快地流走了。还没有还过神，可能是灵魂还在游走。人生太懵懂？不管怎样，还是告别该告别的，开始该开始吧，才是正道。Be a better man. April 26 《逆鳞》8.逆鳞 词：黄俊郎 曲：周杰倫 编曲：钟兴民 制作人：周杰倫 合声编写：周杰倫 合声：周杰倫 弦乐编写：钟兴民 弦乐：北京爱乐 Programer：魏百谦 录音工程：杨瑞代 混音室：ALFA STUDIO 混音工程：杨大纬 混音录音室：杨大纬录音工作室 (夫龙之为虫也，可扰狎而骑也。然其喉下有逆鳞径尺，人有婴之，则必杀人) 而生命 对每个人都不公平也没道理 只能扑向泥泞迎向那阵骤雨由不得你 突来的骤雨 这条街一路泥泞 就像人生 不过是一场即兴 整个世界 正在对我们挑衅 就算如此 还是得无惧前进 手中的邮报 封面的人在微笑 下个路口 生命在暗巷尖叫 活着只是 油墨上面的一角 明天之后 还有谁翻阅的的到 我跟你用不同方式 踩过前方带刺荆棘 你嚣张不畏惧退缩 我低头沉默却坚定 用力的还击 发出声音 让他们安静 不敢相信 继续前进 他们畏惧 睁大眼睛 他们躲避 然后放弃 专心聆听 我的声音 而生命 对每个人都不公平也没道理 只能扑向泥泞迎向那阵骤雨由不得你 如果生命 对每个人都不公平也没道理 那就让我带着孤寂继续前进直到光明 我 我 我只有一种容貌 我就是永远不会倒 我就算逆境环绕 我面对也要带着笑 我只有一种咆哮 我要让他们都知道 我生命再怎么粗糙 我都要活的很骄傲 我说自尊啊 看起来或许可笑 但它至少 撑着我 试着不让我跌倒 活着 如果只是不甘寂静的喧嚣 那就咆哮吧 让每个人都能听的到 用力的还击 发出声音 让他们安静 不敢相信 继续前进 他们畏惧 睁大眼睛 他们躲避 然后放弃 专心聆听 我的声音 而生命 对每个人都不公平也没道理 只能扑向泥泞迎向那阵骤雨由不得你 如果生命 对每个人都不公平也没道理 那就让我带着孤寂继续前进直到光明 March 11 命中注定从dandelion那里抄来的李安著书的结束语：
人生不只是坐着等待，好运就会从天而降。就算命中注定，也要自己去把它找出来。有人说“人定胜天”，也有人说“命中注定”，两者我都有所感应，其实命定也没什么关系，努力与否，结果会很不一样。在我的体验中，只要越努力，找到的东西就越好。当我得到时，会感觉一切好似注定。可是若不努力争取，你拿到的可能就是另一样东西，那结果也似注定。所以目前的局面可以说是命定，也可以说是人改造了它。
觉得说的不错。只不过，这努力和成功都是带有非常主观色彩的东西，怎样叫努力，什么叫成功。梵高一生都不被主流艺术接受，被社会排斥，生活凄苦，他是成功还是不成功？所以我相信很多东西的确是“命中注定”的，就连一个人努力还是不努力也是注定的。所谓性格决定命运，而我们的性格，就现在的理解来说，是基因，加上童年的成长环境，再加上人生的一些际遇决定了的，这些都是我们个人没法左右的。不过这些推理也无聊的很，其实左右都没有所谓。于个人来说，只有做好自己，be a better man. January 31 ZT:brokeback mountain review据说，Ennis在剧终对着挂在一起的他和Jack的两件衬衫说的是“Jack， I swear ...". 这两天，继续沉浸于对此片的回味中。
在网上看到一贴断壁山的评论，写得很好。转贴至此，以作保存。
====================================================================
当ENNIS两眼含泪，面对两件挂在一起的衬衫喃喃说：“I SWEAR……”时，我的心揪了一下。没有预期的眼泪，但还是觉得心痛。看《断背山》的原著小说时，觉得电影一定会拍得很感人，看预告片和评论时，觉得电影一定是颗超级催泪弹，可是，直到看电影，才知道，原来，一段泣血的爱情也可以这样平淡自然。
影片是如此平淡，甚至可以说缺乏情节，只有一个个场景的串联。前半部是断背山上完整的场景，后半部则在两个人的相聚、各自的家庭中跳跃穿插，这种表现手法完全跟书中类似，可能，因为原小说已经很象一个电影故事。 January 17 Golden Globe Award今天晚上看Golden Globe的晚会（这样的晚会我都很喜欢看，因为出席者很多俊男靓女，养眼的很，呵呵）。不过很多时候还是会很感动，因为拿奖的人都是靠努力得来的。虽然影视的世界，you never know, just keep dreaming. 但是始终还是，no pains no gains. 今天记忆最深的一幕是一个女演员（忘记名字了，不好意思）在致谢辞时说道，"I am 53 years old, and this is my first leading actress......"。我不胜唏嘘。对于我们大多数来说，也许连“大器晚成”都无法企及，人生里注定不会有绚丽的亮点，一生碌碌，有时感慨不知为何，命运无法掌控。但是，我想坚持不灭的信念是我们能做到的，可以成为我们人生的风景，让观者侧目。 December 22 铜镜映无邪 扎马尾 你若撒野 今生我把酒奉陪人长大，越发觉得纯粹，彻底，没有条件，不粘带任何杂念的感情的可贵。觉得可贵，多半也是源于自己很难做到吧。What the hell, life is too short. July 20 有泪尽情流/**************************************
* 让我回忆起去年夏天的歌 *
**************************************/
因为你还在我这里
看见我所看到的 再来不及欢喜 已成回忆 因为你还在我这里 陪着我一起叹息 还来不及伤心 天已晴 在梦里泪才尽情 毫不隐瞒落在你的胸襟 那是我一生之中 美丽的福气 多少话留在心里 从头说起怕说也说不清 凭着你给的勇气 让我继续 因为你还在我这里 入梦就拥抱到你 而我知道我也活在 你心里 July 19 olderWorth putting down a note here. Got bless from my families and good friends. I felt peace and safe, right in the hold of happiness.....
At the moment, I remembered my grandfather, who passed away this winter. I didn't get the change to see him before he went away. I never expected last summer would be the last time I saw him. Everyone expects a happy ending. But end itself is not happy, what good can come out of that?
A friend ever told me a saying he saw somewhere, "when people live, they live as if they would never die; when people die, they die as if they had never lived." I guess the saying is supposed to be sarcastic and meant to give people some hints about life. Nevertheless, I just think something in human nature prevents us from being as wise as we would/should.
The dog in the photo was taken at the funeral of my grandfather. I felt there is something special in its eyes. Looks a little unusual...... July 17 我去2000年/*********************************
* 曾经非常喜欢这首歌。。。。。。 *
*********************************/
by 朴树
没有人仰望蓝天，繁星密布的夜。
我和我那些秘密，又能唱给谁听。 你听不清吗，你看不见吗，你的大脑呢？ 大家醉了，就我醒着，我真傻，说不出什么感觉。 当我准备去告别，我心中荒草家园，真理出没的夜。 新的人间化装舞会，早已经开演。 好了再见，我要走了我去2000年。 我要走了 come on boy thank you。 大家一起去休闲，就让该简单的简单；
大家一起来干杯，为这个快乐的年代；
大家再来干一杯，为这个晕了的年代。
泥锅泥碗你滚蛋，你追我赶到2000年，这滋味有多美我的天。
新的游戏新的面具新的规矩学习，蓝天白云星光虫鸣还有真理多余。 别当真别多问别乱猜，我没有答案。 荒唐是吧悲伤是吗没有办法。 就祝咱们都小康吧，就这有多简单。 这个嘈杂的年代，你追我赶去2000年。 这滋味有多美我的天呐。。。。。。 July 03 Ponoco RaftingToday four of us went rafting at Pocono white water. It's much fun. First, to give an idea about what rafting is, I "stoled" a picture from web and posted in the corresponding photo set. In that picture, a guy is pulled up from the water into the boat. Although that picutre is not ours, we did pull up a big guy from water today. The funny thing is at first I thought he was swimming, so I tried to avoid getting him hit by our boat. But then we saw him kind of struggling to pull himself towards any boat within his reach. At that time I realized he fell off into the water by accident. He clenched the roap around our boat tightly, trying to get into our boat. At that moment I had no idea of what to do to effectively help him coz he is quite big. Fortunately, our trip guard is around and gave us proper instructrions to help him. And we got him up into our boat, quite easily. The water today is ok, but not as rapid as most pictures would show about rafting. Basically there is no serious danger. But if the boat is stuck by a rock in the water, without help you might stuck there for quite a while. The most fun stuff is water pouring. At the beginning of the rafting trip, each boat was given a big bucket. At first we wondered, what is the use of that? Then we realized it, when they began using the bucket to get water from the river and pour towards people in other boats. So it's all water, screaming, more water, more screaming, laughing. By the lunch time, we were all wet, and cold...... The pity thing is we couldn't bring camera on the trip so no pictures on the boat were taken. Only two before we set off...... Anyway, it's quite fun. July 01 萤火虫*小兔新泽西的夏天仿佛是没有那么酷热的，比南京差的远矣，比北京也不及，所以好像没有特别夏天的感觉。南京的夏天，酷热。北京的夏天，燥热。然而，南京的夏天，我还是喜欢的，而且一年四季中，我最喜欢的还是夏天（是不是因为我是夏天出生的呢？不可知也）。用狗狗的话说，热，在我们的潜意识隐射着生机，好像世间一切都蓬勃而生机盎然。摘去对六害的有色眼镜，君不见，六害们通常夏天活动最频繁。
南京的夏天，经常在傍晚时分，狂风大作，吹得好像房屋里可以震动的都震动起来，接着霹雳闪电，雷声滚滚，这样热闹一气之后，瓢泼大雨从天而降。被蒸发了一整天，这时候，怎一个爽字了得。现在人家都有了空调了，大自然对人的威慑力在气候的层面上恐怕愈加微渺了。有时候想想这也有点遗憾，因为有些感觉，我们都不会再有了。所以这又中了那句“那逝去的将变成可爱”。
扯得远了。晚上去学校的路上，偶然发现绿色的小点，闪了一个瞬间，亮亮的。我大呼，“萤火虫”。很久没见过了。一路上，定睛车窗外的，竟发现有很多很多的萤火虫。可能与这里的植物比较多有关系。欲与狗狗讨论这个萤火虫为什么发光的问题，他曰吸引异性，我不信。Whatever, it doesn't matter. I continue to enjoy...在我盯着窗外的时候，看见草坪上有一只小小的兔兔。我想可能就是昨天晚上也看到的那只。很小，可爱。我只喜欢小的东西，小猫，小兔，小孩（刚生下来，三个月以内。otherwise, they are monsters...）。不过，狗是个例外，大的狗我也喜欢。
June 22 关云长之忠义这两天正在重温一遍电视连续剧<三国演义>. 诸葛亮还未出山，赵子龙也未显身，只是刘关张三人，和孟德公的故事在演。关羽一度与刘备张飞流散，寄与曹操处。曹操待关羽不薄阿，但是关将军一心欲与玄德公相聚，再三推却曹操的一番美意。当然，且不说曹操此人多有奸诈，无真心诚信可言。陈宫弃之而去就是一个见证。“宁可我负天下人，不可天下人负我”定义曹操此人的心术不正。所以曹操对关云长，爱才，慕其忠义之气，抑或最终欲用之，莫可分辨。我困惑的，却是刘关张三人，为何关羽独忠心于刘备，就被古今称为忠义之举。刘备与曹操之间，究竟又有何分别呢？难道只是因为刘关张相识早一些？突然觉得如此一来，都不太make sense了。时间的先后为什么会对忠义带来影响？confuse ya...
June 19 Dance with wolvesLast night I watched "Dance with wolves". It is a movie of 1990, Oscar winner. Some scenes are very touching, although in some part I think it went a little too far to make the contrast between Indian people and white people. Maybe it is just exaggeration coz to the very end it's a movie and has every right to exaggerate. Overall, it's a sad story--Indians were taken away every piece of land by and by and their families were killed. It is a process and the Indians have experienced it in reality. And it has become history, irreversible history. Sometimes, it's hard to figure out why human nature tends to gain more, no matter how cruel the measure it needs to take to reach the greedy goal. And think, you are just one of these greedy species... I was amazed how they trained the wolf to behave like a perfact actor. That's another part that impressed me a lot. When the white people tried to shoot the wolf, what's in my mind is nothing but hatred. Wolf is always thought of as a cruel animail. But at that moment, it's obvious which is the more cruel one. June 17 Planning -- YellowStoneWhile searching the web to collect some travel information to YellowStone, I become more and more excited, especially after viewing so many nice great pictures. I think it will be more breathtaking when really being there. I grabbed some pictures googled from web and posted in the album:P (although they are not my work and posted before I ever being there). One of the pictures shows a big big mountain. I figured, when I get there, I must feel how small I am, compared to the grand nature. Sometimes, those kinds of feelings can take you away from your daily routine life, and you are like having a turn of life, a breakaway from reality, where you being whatever you are, small or big, just you, faithful you. I miss that feeling. There are a few other photos I posted along. Some animals and scenes. I hope this trip can become reality..... But a little worried...... June 14 下沙我曾经的一个朋友告诉我，听陈百强的歌有一种撕心裂肺的感觉，如果很投入地听，会很累。我当时很是诧异，因为我从来没觉得听歌会累。现在想起来，这过来的时日，好像也听过一些这类比较累人的歌，好像这首下沙。我想累的原因，并没有其他，不过是共鸣之类的感应，听着歌好像一遍一遍地反复温习曾有的一些经历，或者伤感，或者凄美。。。当然我并没有那么多的深刻，不过是些胡乱的思绪，而已。
歌手:游鸿明 专辑:下沙 June 13 棋子有时候，偶尔想起来，有些感受，当时很强烈，渐渐的也会淡忘掉。有时不经意间，很突然地又想起来，心里暗暗地很吃惊，吃惊那种强烈的感觉，也吃惊尽可以淡忘已然。所以，人/我这一辈子，也不过是懵懵懂懂。经历的事情，总是渐渐地淡忘了。生活变成一种惯性的向前滚动时日。每一日，又留给我什么痕迹呢？即使有一些痕迹，过了些日子，还是变得模糊不可辨认了。这真是奇怪。 April 17 Newark cherry bloomToday we went to Newark, expecting to see cherry bloom. It took us a while to find the right location since there were too few cherry flowers to let us figure out the right location. And the park is not as nice as expected either--it is not so well maintained. But, anyway it's very nice to get out with friends to enjoy the spring. |
||||||
|
|
